@seahorseoracle
“Behind every strong person is a story that gave them no other choice” @the.ivf.warrior
‘You’re so strong… so resilient’, she says, praising her friend who has just left a brutal relationship, moved house and lost her job all in the course of a two-month period. When you need to power through and get things done, because you have no other choice, then this mindset and emotional state is definitely a life saver. But when this becomes your default setting, ‘being the strong one’, ‘the reliable one who never breaks’, then you could be doing yourself a huge disservice. Also, you may be functioning like this all the time and thinking that it’s normal, because it’s a coping mechanism you learned from your family. That may have been when you received praise as a child, for not making a fuss, getting on with it, being the easy child who has no needs that interrupt the status quo.
Let me explain how this will not work for you in all areas of your life. Many highly successful people would describe themselves as ‘strong’, and through this may generate a lot of success in certain areas of their life. But when you dig a little deeper, you often find that there are major blockages happening elsewhere, in their private life, their dating life, with their health…
I’m going to change tack now and it will make sense later…
‘The last journey you will ever make will be from your head to your heart’ Native American Indian proverb.
Among various religious and spiritual circles, you might be aware of talk referring to the heart path, the way of the heart, listen to your heart etc In reality, it can seem a bit vague, like what does that mean and how do I actually do that? It’s a bit of a mystery and rightly so, anything worth learning may require questioning, persistence and a phase of being uncomfortable and not knowing what’s happening.
Being a strong person, all the time often correlates to the creation of a psychic armor that you build around yourself, like a warhorse that powers through, spears bouncing off, feeling powerful, ignoring feelings, getting it done! In my experience as a counsellor and spiritual healer, this energetic armour is often surrounding the heart. Journeying from your head – controlling, strategy, planning and moving down to your heart – feelings, emotions and hunches, people suddenly get in contact with a block, this can also feel like ‘nothing’ or ‘numbness’. I ask my clients, ‘how do you feel?’, the response is ‘I don’t know, or nothing, or blank’. You have met the armour around your heart. How do I know this? Because with a few pointed questions, that same person, seconds later is feeling a lot of things, often intense things, which is why there was initially a strong desire to stay at the ‘nothing’ phase.
When your armor becomes your obstacle…
The energy of giving and receiving in your life and your energy body, is through your heart. So this is where you may find an extremely successful person, who has no loved one, or a lack of meaning, or other parts of their life where they feel unsatisfied. They may have a blocked heart.
When your heart is blocked by armour which keeps you strong, resilient and protected, energy can not flow here and where energy can not flow, things stagnate. If a river stagnates and the water does not flow, then the water putrefies. The same thing happens with your energy, and speaking of water! Tears are often the answer, water moves energy through your body just like a river with a clear flowing path. Or to be even more specific, emotions are the answer, as they all allow the energy to flow out, become unstuck, thus allowing new energy to flow in.
Many of us had experiences as children that were difficult – where changes we were thrown into as a young, vulnerable person made us feel out of control in an adult’s world. This shook us deeply and made us feel unsafe, or even hurt us physically. So a default assumption is therefore, ‘change is bad, things moving fast, changing and flowing, brings me stress and I feel unsafe’. So no wonder strong people just want things to stay the same, reliable, dependable and constant.
A closed, blocked heart comes from a lack of trust that what might come, if I move forward -might be bad, therefore we trade openness and curiosity in our future potential, for the safe armor, a familiar path, and we stick to it. The energy of life is unable to flow through the heart, therefore it can affect the energy that flows in, blocking our relationships, finances and even health. Therefore, being strong as a default, can block you form attracting love, friendships and closeness that feeds our emotional health and builds our trust in life itself, and the way of the heart. It is an opportunity to find your way from your head, to your heart and remain open and curious to what you might find there. What flow of energy can you create, so that you interact with life, instead of trying to control it?
In saying this of course, don’t throw the baby out with the bathwater. Knowing how to protect yourself and knowing when to put up that armor over your heart is a valuable tool, and can become something that you choose to employ when necessary, because as you know, ‘people will be people’. But don’t fool yourself into thinking that you just have good boundaries, when in fact you’re totally blocked and there is no flow happening in your life, you’re just keeping a tightly controlled wall around you. It is easy to use popular spiritual terms to reinforce old patterns, and feel like we’re on the right track. It’s called a blind spot. Your life is your feedback tool. Look honestly at your life and see what reflection you’re getting back. You could be unknowingly pushing away love, or blocking opportunities that are trying to get to you?
As a Counsellor, the pathways that have gotten the best results for me with unblocking the heart and getting life flowing again, is Rebirthing Breathwork. Rebirthing Breathwork has been the ultimate tool for me for dissolving the armour around the heart, and getting the energy of life flowing again. Contact me for more information if this sounds like something that could be beneficial in your life. Best blessings, Cacey.